I'm not hungry. Neither is my husband. Or my cats. Or anyone on my street and I can probably safely say that no one on my island is. But today, even though I have heard the statistics, seen the pictures, today I was overwhelmed by the fact that our planet is running out of food and today, I truly felt helpless. A young woman in Vietnam makes $3 a day, less than what she used to. She spends $1 - $2 a day on food, and 50 cents a day on a place to sleep. The rest (50 cents) she sends to relatives to care for her two daughters. Since the rise in food costs, she has cut back on the amount of food she consumes in order to save money. My daily wage is 60 times hers, and I complain I am broke. I'm broke. I have an apartment, a car, clothes, food.... you know where I am going, but today it really hit me. I didn't feel sad, or depressed, just useless. Utterly useless. I donate money to various organizations, but it's not enough. I am vegetarian, but it's not enough. I send stickers and books to our sponsored children, but...
See? What can I do? What can I REALLY do? I am not ashamed for being privileged, but I am not doing enough. D and I talk about packing up and taking off and going to dig wells and build schools but...don't you need money to do that? Who would pay our loans? D's child support? Feed our cats while we were gone? And don't get me started on the cats - the thought of leaving them is very stressful. Call me silly but unless you own a cat, don't call me silly to my face. But that is a minor point in this grand scheme of WHAT IS THE POINT?? Bono is trying to save the world. So are Angelina and Brad and Oprah and they have scads of money and what is it really doing?
See? It's overwhelming.
And then I think, I'm helping feed kids in India. What about east Vancouver? there are tons of kids going hungry there every day but I don't give them a second thought. I don't think about starting in my own back yard. But I think because I feel that in Canada, you have way more opportunity than in India. And I think I am afraid of the domestic violence that often goes hand in hand with the poor in first world countries. I don't want to get involved in that. And there is the whole drug addiction aspect of it all. I'm not contributing to that. Choices, people make them. Make better choices. I don't think citizens of India and Africa have as many choices. We went through World Vision's makeshift village in Victoria. The child I "became" during the tour was kidnapped and made a child soldier, forced to kill friends and family. No food, no where safe to sleep. Constant threat of AIDS. That doesn't happen in Canada. Don't come down hard on me for voicing these thoughts. I'm only speaking the truth. My truth anyway.
What can I do? Where do I start? I read about the woman in Vietnam while I enjoyed my snack of toast and honey. Not my meal. My snack. It was probably the 4th or 5th thing I had eaten today and it wasn't even 3 p.m. I know, I know. You can't save the world, just do your part so forth and so on. But it's not even making a dent. We sponsor three children , yet World Vision can't even meet it's expectations from last year because the cost of rice and wheat has gone up. What's the point? We're helping 3 families instead of none, but am I making a difference? Our cupboard has cans of food in it that we bought months ago "in case we want to make that meal." Imaging your family sitting around whatever serves as a table in your house, and imagine giving each person one scoop of rice. One scoop of rice. No butter, no salt, no soy sauce, and definitely no second helpings. No glass of milk, not even clean water. And that's it. Go to bed because there is nothing more.
I feel I have a thousand thought in my head about this. Like I said, I just feel useless. I feel our existence is useless. All of ours. Canadians and Africans. Why has it turned out this way? Why do I get to eat pre packaged Rice Krispie Cakes (not vegetarian, I know) and people in Africa barely get just rice? Why can I run the tap for showering, brushing my teeth, filling the cats' dish, rinsing the plate before it goes in the dishwasher, washing my fingernail clippings down the drain, flushing the toilet...and the child in India gets sick from her one cup of water?
I'm going to stop because I am overwhelmed.
Let there be peace on earth.
And let it begin with me.
Where do I start?
1 comment:
You've started already. And this post is another start, because they say one of the first things to do is discuss these issues with family & friends. I feel overwhelmed, too, and as though whatever I do isn't making that much of a difference. But it IS making a difference. It's making a difference to those children you sponsor. It's making a difference to the child I sponsor. I realize that it's not only a matter of getting the momentum going, that difficulties present themselves in the form of corrupt, short-sighted, or apathetic political bodies. Still, we can't give up. Keep fighting the good fight.
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