It's been a frustrating day.

Today I am taking it personally that family #2 has decided that they can't afford to pay me. I'm frustrated that I now have to look for other families to fill their days. Family #1 tells me constantly how much I am appreciated and that the extra money is so worth it as the extra things I do makes their life so much easier. I know I shouldn't take the other situation personally - they are only doing what is best for them - but today I just feel all "ugh" and kinda teary about it. I hate the idea of making up more contracts and going over it and making certain the new families UNDERSTAND what it says, particularly the money part. Funny enough, it was family #2 that often gave me a bit of a hard time about stats and holiday pay and so really, I should be relieved not to have to deal with that, but I guess their questioning of such matters makes me nervous to get into it again with someone new. And really, I'll miss their tot.

I also grew tired of finding the things that toddlers become attached to all day today. For one, it was a Buzz Lightyear figurine that kept getting dropped in the car or shoved under the couch or stuck inside a toy only meant for balls not figurines. For the other it was baby pillow - a baby sized pillow that holds the appeal of a "blankie". There was a lot of hollering and whining today based on the wear abouts of these two things.

Then, as I was driving home, I thought of how I really should just be focusing on my writing and really, really try to get that going. Minutes later, I found my rejection letter from Orca Book Publishers in the mail. I was disappointed of course, but not really sad or discouraged about it like I could have been. I know the story is a good story, and I believe in my strengths as a writer, so I know it will happen eventually. The hardest thing is actually DOING it. I'm not very good at self motivation. But the thought of being able to work from home and at my own pace and hours and not have to associate with swine flu carriers is quite the incentive. Maybe I need to start much smaller than a complete novel. And I need to plaster my walls with pictures of cabins in tropical places because a self supported writer can live anywhere she wants.

Lastly, I am so frustrated with our cats. They are so cute and I love them as if they were my kids, but their feeding schedule is making me insane. The older one was diagnosed with diabetes last spring and was on insulin but we were able to wean her off it as we adjusted her diet, which is great because administering her shot at the same time every day was a hassle and made finding cat care for times we were away almost impossible. So now both cats are on canned food, and they get fed twice a day. This story could get really long so to be speed it up, just know that they are VERY hungry by the time I get home at dinner as they have gone 12 hours without food at that point SO as much as we try to avoid it, we often come home to find the bread ripped open, or the garbage actually pulled out of the cupboard and strewn about. Today, I thought I had to work late so I packed up the kids, went to my house, fed the cats, and went back to work only to find mom home after all. So I pretty much went right back to my house and found one if the cats on the counter. I FREAKED. I had JUST fed them and they were scrounging for food! I know they are only animals doing their animal thing, and I know that it is our job as pet owners to do what needs to be done to keep them healthy and I hate that I find them frustrating because the convenience of leaving a bowl of dry kibble out all day is no longer an option if I want my cat to be alive but...sigh.

It's just been a frustrating sort of day.